Meet the Looney Tunes Fortress 2
by avatar-of-kane
Summary: A Looney Tunes and Team Fortress 2 crossover. What if the characters of Team Fortress 2 are played by Looney Tune characters? What kind of hilarious quotes will they make when you meet them all? Warning: violence and OOCness expected for both franchises.
1. Chapter 1: Meet the Heavy

Hi, my faithful readers. This is a short series is something that I just want to try out for the fun of it. Enjoy...

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Disclaimer: Looney Tunes characters belongs to Warner Bros., and Team Fortress 2 belongs to Valve.

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**MEET THE HEAVY**

Hector, a large sized muscle-bound bulldog with gray fur walks up to the camera and places a minigun on a cardboard box, before sitting down in a chair, staring at the screen as if he is in an interview.

"I am Heavy Weapons Dog... and THIS is my weapon." the big anthropomorphic bulldog states with a passion while caressing one of the minigun's barrels. "She weighs 150 kilograms and fires 200-bone custom-tooled catridges at 10,000 rounds per minute. It costs 400,000 bones to fire this weapon... for 12 seconds."

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"Ha! Ha! Ha..."

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Hector is checking the barrel of his minigun, when he realizes something out of place with his favorite weapon.

"Oh my god, who touched Tweety? Alright... WHO TOUCHED MY GUN?" the bulldog shouts in rage.

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"Some think that they can outsmart me. Maybe... maybe... but I've yet to meet one that can outsmart bullet." Hector boasts as he holds out a bullet to the camera.

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(Play **Team Fortress 2 Theme**)

Meanwhile, Hector is in Dustbowl Stage 1 Cap 1, devastating his enemies with his minigun, while laughing like a mad man... no, mad dog.

"Waaaaaahhhhhh! Uwwwwwwaaaaaahhhhhh! Ahahahahaha! Bark some more!"

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"Heheh... bark some more..."

(Play **Team Fortress 2 Ending Theme**)

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Hey there folks! How do you like this small Christmas gift? This is just a short project that I wanted to try out just for fun. These recent weeks, I've been getting a lot of laughs from watching my brother and his friends playing Team Fortress 2 and I've always find the game and its characters hilariously funny. The main inspiration for writing this fic is when I came upon several crossover artworks of TF2 with other series such as One Piece, MLP, Sonic, Mass Effect, WH40K while browsing in deviantARt. One of the artwork that catches my eye is a crossover of Looney Tunes character with TF2, and I realize that the Looney Tune characters can perfectly fit in the wacky, explosive and somewhat violent world of TF2, and BAM... this fic is born. The whole idea is not mine, but the cast will not be fully based on the artwork that I first saw where the main inspiration came from.

The order of the character appearance will be based on the order where each "Meet the..." is released. For those who don't know Hector, he is that big bulldog who is always with Granny and protects Tweety from Sylvester, and one of the main characters in _The Sylvester and Tweety Mysteries _cartoon series show. I chose him as Heavy because he is one of the bigger sized recurring Looney Tune character casts. Foghorn Leghorn is another possible candidate, but he is just too talkative to play the role of Heavy, hence I chose Hector the Bulldog in the end. As for the bones mentioned, I picture them as currencies used by cartoon dogs to buy stuffs. And yes, he names his gun from the little yellow canary.

Anyway, hope everyone will enjoy a few laughs as I churn out the rest of the casts. See if anyone can guess who will play as the others classes.


	2. Chapter 2: Meet the Soldier

Alright, I finally manage to login again.

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Disclaimer: Looney Tunes characters belongs to Warner Bros., and Team Fortress 2 belongs to Valve.

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A BLU Pyro is firing a blast of flame from its flamethrower. As it thrusts it weapon in the air and laughs triumphantly, a rocket heads towards it from off screen, hitting and blasting it into bloody bits.

Moments later, a BLU Demoman is taking a drink, before getting blown up by another rocket from off screen.

And moments later, a BLU Hector the Heavy is performing the Showdown taunt "Pow!", when he also got blown up by yet another rocket.

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**MEET THE SOLDIER**

Yosemite Sam the Soldier, a short, pint-sized red-head with a big round nose, a pair of long red moustache, so long that they literally touch the ground, with his top half of his head including his eyes covered by rusty red tin helmet, addresses to what appears to be a line of recruits.

"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fiigghhtt! I say that v'ecause I know a LOT more about fighting than you do, varmint, because I invented it, then I perfected it so that no living man could best ME in the ring of honor!"

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(Play **Art of War**)

"Say ya prayers!"

Yosemite Sam holds up a shovel while screaming, before charging towards the final capture point with his shotgun and kills a Demoman, who fires at him but misses. He switches to a rocket launcher when an enemy Medic appears behind him and fires syringes at the pint sized bandit-like Soldier.

"To the left!" a RED Demoman warns.

"Varmints!"

Sam turns to the left and fires a Crit rocket at the Medic, blowing him into bloody chunks.

"Right up! Right up!" a RED Sniper warns.

"Go, go, go!" RED Hector the Heavy follows.

Together, the Soldier, Sniper and Heavy charge into battle, as explosions occur all around them.

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Back to the drill, Yosemite Sam goes on bragging.

"Then, I use mah fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then I herded them onto a boat... and then I blow the smithereens out of every single one." Sam brags on as he uses a pair of unhooked grenades, with one on each hand, to demonstrate in a walking motion before ending with banging them together repeatedly.

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Back to the battle scene, a RED Scout behind cover warns the battle group of a Sentry gun.

"Sentry up there!"

Yosemite Sam runs up to the Sentry gun and rocket jumps onto a pipe, destroying both the Sentry and killing the Engineer in the process.

At the final capture point, a BLU Heavy and Pyro are holding the point. The Heavy is laughing gleefully, when suddenly Sam jumps downward, firing a Critical rocket that lands just before he does. The explosion destroys both the Heavy and Pyro. A Spy uncloaks and attempts to backstab the Soldier, only to get knocked out with a buck tooth flying by a quick pull of shovel by Sam.

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Back to the drill, Yosemite Sam is laughing to himself before resuming his 'life stories'.

"And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a RANCH!"

Crickets chirp as the 'recruits', turned out to be severed heads of BLU team members perched on a gate, all wearing BLU Soldier helmets. The Medic's head falls off the gate.

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(Play **Team Fortress Ending Theme**)

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"Unless it's a slaughterhouse!"

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And here's another cast revealed, Yosemite Sam as Soldier. I think this one is pretty obvious choice as the pocket sized red head bandit is extremely violent, aggressive, dominant and trigger-happy, somewhat like a Soldier. Besides it does sound funny if he keep shouting "varmints" to every enemy he encounters and blows up.

To prevent spoilers of which Looney Tune characters will play as the other TF2 classes, I will try to avoid mentioning their names, referring them as their class names unless they have been revealed (such as Hector the Bulldog as Heavy in this chapter) or they are the main star in the chapter.


	3. Chapter 3: Meet the Engineer

Disclaimer: Looney Tunes characters belongs to Warner Bros., and Team Fortress 2 belongs to Valve.

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**MEET THE ENGINEER**

Wile E. Coyote (_Genius Engineeris_), a brown furred skinny coyote with a yellow hard hat on his head is sitting on his toolbox, playing **More Gun** on his guitar. Next to him is a kill counter displaying the number "209".

As Coyote skillfully drums his guitar with one hand, he raises a sign board with his other hand to address the viewers.

'HELLO! I'M AN ENGINEER. THAT MEANS I SOLVE PROBLEMS.'

Without warning, a gunshot ricochets off the truck near Coyote. Despite the close call, Coyote the Engineer ignores the threat, while raising another sign board.

'NOT PROBLEMS LIKE "WHAT IS THE BEST DELICACY?", BECAUSE THE ANSWER WOULD OBVIOUSLY BE A HARD-EARNED CAUGHT ROADRUNNER BURGER.'

Meanwhile, two more gunshots ricochet off the truck, close to Coyote's head. He glances briefly at the bullet holes, before raising another sign board.

'I SOLVE PRACTICAL PROBLEMS.'

Coyote then takes a bottle of vitamins from a nearby crate and swigs it as a Level 1 Sentry Gun near him swivels around and fires a quick burst of rounds, ending with an off screen dying scream of an enemy. As Coyote puts down the bottle of vitamins and continues to play his guitar, the kill counter clicks up from "209" to "210". He raises up another sign board, not aware of an enemy Sniper in the background trying to sneak up on him.

'FOR INSTANCE... HOW AM I GOING TO STOP SOME BIG MEAN MOTHER HUBBARD FROM TEARING ME A STRUCTURALLY SUPERFLUOUS NEW BEHIND?'

Just then, the Sentry Gun spots the Sniper and kills him, as the kill counter clicks up to "211".

'THE ANSWER...'

A Level 2 Sentry Gun fires and kills two more enemies, ending with more screams. This causes the kill counter to click up to "213".

Coyote raises up another sign board, but this time instead of words, it shows a very detailed schematics of a Level 1 Sentry Gun (Strangely there is a big A.C.M.E. four-alphabet letter printed on the corner of the schematics). Then he puts down the schematics and raises another worded sign board.

'AND IF THAT DON'T WORK...'

A nearby Level 3 Sentry Gun fires off a barrage of rockets, just as Coyote stops playing the guitar and raises another schematics sign board. This one is less detailed than the earlier one, featuring simplified drawings of multiple Sentry Guns from Level 1 to 3 surrounding a stick figure of Coyote himself. Shortly after that, an explosion is heard as Coyote grins happily.

"My arm!"

A loud dying scream echoes off screen as the kill counter clicks up to "214". At the same time, a severed hand lands in front of Coyote, who continues playing. The fallen hand is tracked and targeted by a Level 1 Sentry Gun. Another sign board is then raised up.

'LIKE THIS HEAVY CALIBER, TRIPOD-MOUNTED A.C.M.E. SENTRY GUN DESIGNED BY A.C.M.E...'

Wile E. Coyote then kicks the hand, which is shot out of the air by the Level 1 Sentry Gun.

'BUILT BY ME...'

The same Sentry Gun then swivels around and shoots another enemy, raising the kill counter to "215".

'AND YOU BEST HOPE... NOT POINTED AT YOU.'

The scene zooms out from Coyote the Engineer as his Sentry Guns continue to cut down waves of BLU attackers. His truck is crammed full of BLU Intelligence, and curiously enough, multiple sign boards of various sizes. The "campfire" is actually the burning body of a BLU Sniper.

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(Play **Team Fortress 2 Ending Theme**)

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No doubt for the role of Engineer, no other Looney Tune character is more suited for this role other than Wile E. Coyote, the master designer of trap sets and builder of various A.C.M.E. brand gadgets in his quest to capture the Roadrunner to fill up his empty belly. The sign board communication is another one of his recurring quirks. I have to admire his patience and persistence, if not a little pity for his bad luck and bad experience with cartoon physics that always cause his plans, traps and contraptions to keep failing even though he had tested some of them before trying to apply them in a practical situation. Anyway Coyote is Engineer. Can anyone guess who's next?


	4. Chapter 4: Meet the Demo-Cat

Happy New Year 2014! Firstly, I would wish everyone a happy new start in this new year. Now on with the show...

To MegaAuthor: Well firstly thanks for starting the first review and feedback for this story. It's just too bad that you didn't enjoy Looney Tunes as much as I do (I literally grow up watching them). Maybe you're right, Looney Tunes characters and TF2 characters aren't exactly "perfectly match" to each other, but at least there are a lot of similarities that you can put them together to make a funny parody.

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Disclaimer: Looney Tunes characters belongs to Warner Bros., and Team Fortress 2 belongs to Valve.

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**MEET THE DEMO-CAT**

(Play **Drunken Pipe Bomb**)

The Demo-Cat, a black furred anthropomorphic cat with white underbelly and white tipped tail, a big red nose and with an eye patch covering his left eye, jumps out from a drop-down corridor in Gravel Pit as he runs out and narrowly escapes a massive explosion.

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"What makess me a good Demo-Cat?"

Sylvester the Demo-Cat address to the screen, sitting in a room full of explosives, mainly TNT and dynamite sticks.

"Ifff I were a bad Demo-Cat, I wouldn't pffbee sittin' here, dissscussin' it with you now would I?"

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"Let'ppss do it!"

Back in the battle scene, Sylvester charges into battle with a hearty war cry along with Team RED while dodging a cascade of rockets.

"Not one of ya' treats gonna' survive thisss."

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Back to the interview with Sylvester...

"One crossssed wire, one wayward pinch of gunpowder, one ppftwitch... and BOOOOMM!"

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Back to the battle scene, Sylvester fires a black spherical cartoon bomb with lighted fuse off his cartoon bomb launcher, which bounces off a wall and blows up a pursuing enemy Pyro.

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Back in the interview room, Sylvester begins to chug down his bottle of alcoholic.

A Level 3 Sentry Gun fires a barrage of rockets at Sylvester, who skillfully dodges the rockets. Beside the Demo-Cat, a nearby Scout is not as lucky as he gets gunned down by the Sentry. To avenge his fallen cartoon comrade, the one-eyed red nosed black cat fires two cartoon bombs at the Sentry Gun, blowing it up into scraps.

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Back to the interview, the now drunk Demo-Cat slams the now empty bottle down on the table, breathing heavily and starts ranting.

"I'm a losseerr... I'm a black, feline cycloppss... I can't even catch a ! #$% CANARY or a ! #$% MOUSE!"

Sylvester then tries to drink from the empty bottle, before noticing the screen and becomes more lucid again.

"Sssoo..."

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"T'all you fine pussies ssoo proud, ssoo cocksure..."

Back to the battle scene, Sylvester is approaching to the final capture point in Gravel Pit when his eye widens in shock as he sees a group of BLU team members charging towards him with smug expressions on their faces, especially a certain bulldog leading at the front of the charge.

A shocked expression is quickly replaced with a devious look on Sylvester's face, as he runs away with the BLU members in hot pursuit.

"Pprancin' around with your heads full of eyeballs! Sufferin' succotasshh! Come and get me I ssaay..."

As Sylvester runs past a door, he covers the door frame in sticks of lighted sticky dynamites.

"I'll be waitin' on ya with a whiff of ol' brimstone. I'm a grim bloody fable... witthh an unhappy bloody end!"

The pursing BLU teams runs past the same door when the leading Hector notices the sticky explosive traps around the door frame, and his expression changes from smugness to one of shock, then despair. As a form of final insult, Sylvester throws a mock salute and activates the dynamite sticks, blowing all the pursuers into bloody chunks.

The Demo-Cat then walks up to (presumably) a decapitated head, laughing merrily as body parts and blood rain down around him.

"Hahahaha! Oh, they're gonna' have to glue you back together... in the DRAWING BOARD!"

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(Play **Team Fortress 2 Ending Theme**)

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And here we have Sylvester playing the role of Demoman, or Demo-Cat in this case. I chose Sylvester for this role because firstly he's literally black, and secondly, he comes in touch of explosives the most frequently besides Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Yosemite Sam and Wile E. Coyote. I can still recall he even 'died' in some shorts, all because of backfiring explosives.

I have to say that writing Sylvester's unique saliva spitting speech mannerism isn't easy, but I manage to get it done.


	5. Chapter 5: Meet the Scout

Disclaimer: Looney Tunes characters belongs to Warner Bros., and Team Fortress 2 belongs to Valve.

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(Play **Faster than a Speeding Bullet**)

The warehouse doors in Well rise, revealing a crouching RED Scout with other members of RED team.

The Scout is a black feathered anthropomorphic duck with orange bill and white feathered collar. He is wearing a brown cap with a set of large headphones, a simple red T-shirt and brown bermudas. His hands are wrapped with white bandages, holding a scattergun. His smug face indicates his confidence... or arrogance.

Daffy the Scout watches various enemy members of the BLU team stationed around the center point: Wile E. Coyote the Engineer industriously making defensive preparations, a Spy chewing on a carrot and Yosemite Sam the Soldier jugging rockets.

Then, with a signal of pumping his scattergun, Daffy and the rest of RED team runs out to attack the point. He charges straight into battle, quickly outpacing all his teammates. He runs towards the objective point, dodging everything that the enemies throw at him, even outrunning and crossing a passing train as it crushes the unfortunate pursuing BLU Soldier and Pyro on the speedy duck's tail

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**MEET THE SCOUT**

Daffy suddenly walks in front of the title text and addresses the viewers.

"Um... I don't even know where to start with you. I mean eh, do you even have ANY idea who you're talkin' to?"

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Hector the Heavy from BLU team, sitting near the third control point in Granary, is about to take a bite out of his roasted ham when he is poked in the head by a bat. The big sized anthropomorphic bulldog turns his head around to find the source of disturbance, who turns out to be Daffy sitting on top of a shipping container.

"Hey what's up, buster?"

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"D-Do you have ANY IDEA, any idea who the heck I am? Hn? Hn?"

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Back to the scene with Hector, a fistfight has broken out between the Heavy bulldog and the duck. Hector is yelling as he tries to get his hands onto the black duck, who is simply hopping around in random directions, taunting in "Woo-hoo-hoo" sentences while avoiding the bulldog's massive hands.

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"The point is... it IS a big deal!"

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Daffy is strangling Hector with his bat around the neck. He even adds further insult by hopping like a mad man, or mad duck, on the big bulldog's shoulders while doing so.

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"Oh boy, thaaat's beautiful!" Daffy admires himself as he flexes his arm, despite not showing any prominent biceps.

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Back to the fight, Hector finally has Daffy in a headlock, who is struggling frantically to get away from his bigger opponent's vice-like grip.

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"Ya' listenin'? Ok. Weeds grow, ducks fly, rabbits die, and busta', I hurt people." Daffy brags as he pokes the screen.

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"BONK! Woo-hoo-hoo!"

Hector is whacked in the gut with a bat by Daffy.

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"I'm a force of nature!"

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"BONK! Woo-hoo-hoo!"

Hector is hit again with the bat right in the chin.

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"If you were from where I was from, you'd be a ROAST DUCK! Busta'!"

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Back to the fight, Hector is collapsed on the ground, trying to reach for his roasted ham. Daffy stops his last struggle, however, by running up the side of a shipping container, jumps off and slams his bat into the Heavy's head.

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"WOO-HOO! WOO-HOO-HOO! HOO-HOO-HOO! HOO-HOO-HOO!"

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(Play **Team Fortress 2 Ending Theme**)

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The fight is over. Daffy is now sitting on Hector's twitching body while munching Hector's roasted ham. The point is now under RED's control.

"Hmm... could use a little more salt in here."

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And we have the screwball Daffy Duck as the Scout. I could have used characters such as Roadrunner or Speedy Gonzales as the fastest running class in TF2, but Daffy's cocky, arrogant, trash-talking personality is better matched to those of the Scout's. Besides, his random hopping in the earlier cartoons also match with the Scout's jumping ability.

Next up we have a certain hunter who is going to take his job seriously.


	6. Chapter 6: Meet the Sniper

Disclaimer: Looney Tunes characters belongs to Warner Bros., and Team Fortress 2 belongs to Valve.

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A lone RV is driving down a desert road. Inside the RV driver seat, a bobblehead of a certain grey anthropomorphic hare is sitting on the dashboard. A hand comes down and flicks the head of the toy rabbit.

"Bang, headshot."

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**MEET THE SNIPER**

(Play **Magnum Force**)

The RV is driven by Elmer Fudd, a bald man with a relatively big head and short stature. He is wearing a brown flak jacket over a red shirt, a pair of brown trousers and brown leather shoes. He wears a brown hunting hat and brown shades.

"Snipin's a good job, pal, uhhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh! It's challengin' work, outdoors. I guarantee you'll not go hungry..."

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Earlier in the morning, Elmer Fudd the Sniper is brushing his teeth in his washroom. On the mirror in front of him, there are three photographs, portraying a BLU Wile E. Coyote, Hector the Bulldog and Daffy Duck. The photographs of Coyote and Daffy are crossed off, but not Hector's.

"Because at the end of the day, as long as there's two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone dead."

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Later in the day, Elmer has the same Hector inside his scope during a battle. The hunter successfully headshots the Heavy anthropomorphic dog, with unexpected bonus. The bullet shatters a BLU Sylvester's bottle, who is standing just right behind the now dead Heavy. The top half of the shattered bottle embed itself in the Demo-Cat's remaining eye, causing insurmountable pain to the black cartoon cat. The Demo-Cat flails around in pain, screaming while taking out his cartoon bomb launcher and fires bombs wildly in the air. Sadly, his mad attempt of retaliation only leads to his downfall, when the blinded feline falls over a ledge, with his stray cartoon bombs igniting a cluster of explosive TNT stockpile below and causing a chain explosion.

"Ooh, that's gonna hwurt." Even the hunter feels pity for the poor kitty's violent end.

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On another day, Elmer Fudd is talking on a payphone stationed at the side of a highway.

"Dad? Dad, I told ya I'm a hunter, not a poacher! What's the diffewence? Well one's a sportsman and another is a cwiminal!"

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Back inside the RV, Elmer Fudd addresses the viewers as he drives.

"I'll be honest with ya: my parent do not care for it."

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Before the battle in Gold Rush, Elmer Fudd climbs up a tall tower in Stage 3, Cap 1. The human sniper is now waiting at the top of the tower for a shot with his scoped hunting rifle. However, he is not having much luck at the moment.

"I think his pals saw me."

Then, a bullet ricochets off the ledge under the Sniper, confirming his suspicion that he has been spotted by the enemies.

"Oh boy, yes he did!" Elmer Fudd has no choice but to frantically take cover as return fire from BLU team ricochets off the tower.

* * *

The scene cuts to a time-lapse image of Elmer Fudd waiting for another shot. Several jars of urine fill up to his side, as Elmer drinks coffee and waits. As the sun starts to set, the Sniper smiles and finally takes his shot.

Back in Gold Rush Stage 3, Elmer somehow successfully backstabs an enemy Spy through the chest with his kukri. With a very big satisfied expression, the human slides the dead Spy off his bladed weapon.

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"Feelings? Look pal, you know who has a lot of feelings?"

Back inside the RV, Elmer gives his views on his feelings as a Sniper, and the difference between him and ordinary mass-murderers.

"Looney ducks that hawass and dwive hunters cwazy, with big jealousy to scwewy wabbits. Pwofessionals have standards!"

* * *

"Be polite."

Elmer takes off his hat and puts it on his chest, standing over the dead Spy earlier as a sign of respect for his fallen nemesis.

* * *

"Be efficient."

Elmer makes consecutive number of headshots with a Medic, a Soldier and a Pyro.

* * *

"Have a plan to kill evewyone you met."

The scene shows a slow motion shot of Elmer Fudd reloading his rifle, before firing the weapon directly at the screen, causing it to black out.

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(Play **Team Fortress 2 Ending Theme**)

* * *

Back at the payphone, Elmer's phone conversation with his family resumes.

"Dad... dad, yeah just put mom on the phone!"

* * *

And Elmer Fudd is Sniper. Although there are tons of looney tunes characters that use guns and firearms, Elmer Fudd uses long rifles the most frequently, hence I think he would look better playing the role of the Sniper, even though his accuracy with a rifle is questionable as he never scores any solid hits on Bugs Bunny from a distance.

I really anticipate the next chapter, which will feature a certain iconic character.


	7. Chapter 7: Meet the Spy

Disclaimer: Looney Tunes characters belongs to Warner Bros., and Team Fortress 2 belongs to Valve.

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Inside the BLU Fort, the alarm bell suddenly rings, followed by sirens and klaxons playing in the background.

"I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-Intruder alert! R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-Red Spy is in the base!"

The large security panel illuminates the signs of "Intruder Alert", "RED Spy" and "In Base". A BLU team Yosemite Sam the Soldier is watching the board when he gets the notification from a certain stuttering administrator.

"What? A RED Spy is in the base?"

* * *

(Play **Intruder Alert**)

Yosemite Sam quickly pulls a shotgun off a rack of weapons and begins dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel.

"P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-Protect the briefcase!"

"We need to protect the briefcase!" Sam rehearses as he rushes towards the briefcase room.

As the diminutive Soldier reaches the room, he finds BLU team Daffy the Scout trying to open the code-locked briefcase room door.

"Hey! A little help here?" Daffy calls out, obviously having trouble getting inside the room.

"AL-RIGHT! Stand back duck, I get this." Yosemite Sam rudely pushes Daffy to a side as he tries to key in the passwords to unlock the door.

"Umm... 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

"Hurry up, you stupid!" Daffy urges impatiently.

Just then, as Sam still trying to unlock the door, a BLU Hector the Heavy comes around the corner, with his minigun Tweety in hand, charges towards the room as well.

"Incoming!"

The bulldog shoulder-barges the door, destroying it without unlocking the passwords. The three BLU cartoon characters are sent tumbling and screaming into the intelligence room.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."

"Aaaaaaaaaaahhh... hey look, it's still here!" Daffy notifies his teammates when he sees the blue briefcase still sitting at its original position on the desk.

"Alright then!" the other two sighs in relief. Just then, a rough cough is heard behind them.

"Ahem, pardon me doc,"

The three BLU members turn their heads around, to find the BLU Spy, a grey furred anthropomorphic rabbit wearing a blue ski mask over his face and dressed in a stylish set of bluish grey tuxedo suit. Bugs Bunny the Spy also has a corpse over one shoulder.

* * *

**MEET THE SPY**

"I see the briefcase is safe."

Bugs greets his teammates as he walks towards the desk where the briefcase rests on, carrying the corpse along with him.

"That's right! Safe and sound!" Yosemite Sam assures, with Hector beside him nodding in agreement.

"Yup! Safe it is, thanks to ME!" Daffy brags.

"Alright then, tell me doc' but the... did anyone of you happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?" Bugs asks, only to receive head shakes and shrugs from the three other BLU team members.

"No? Then I'm afraid we still have a problem doc..."

Without warning, Bugs suddenly drops the corpse from his shoulder to the desk, revealing the deceased identity as Elmer Fudd the BLU Sniper. A bloody carrot themed butterfly knife is seen stabbed right in his back.

"And a knife..." Yosemite Sam exclaims, seeing the gravity of the current situation. There's an enemy Spy still loose in this area.

Daffy the Scout, as cocky as always, seemingly dismisses the threat as he approaches and removes the knife from Elmer's corpse back.

"Yeah right, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're nothing more but worth less than a dime backstabbing screwy rabbits, like you!"

Daffy tries to flick and manipulate the butterfly knife like how a Spy does, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.

"Ow!"

"If you managed to kill them, then I assure you that they were not like me," Bugs deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to Daffy's hand, "and nothing... nothing like the rabbit running loose in this building."

Still, Daffy is not convinced.

"Yeah right, I mean what're ya? President of his fan club?" The sarcastic remark earns a few chuckles from Sam and Hector standing beside the rabbit and duck duo.

Bugs, however, is unfazed with the verbal jab. Instead, he quickly turns to face the duck and retrieves a folder from underneath his suit.

"No... that would be your mother!"

* * *

(Play **Right Behind You**)

Bugs slaps the folder down on the desk, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Bugs Bunny the Spy and BLU Daffy's mother.

"WHAT?!"

Daffy can only stammer out of shock and disbelief, unable to comprehend the truth of his dear mother's secret affair with an enemy.

"Indeed, and now he's here to screw us! So listen up doc, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today!"

While Bugs is still delivering the warnings, Yosemite Sam and Hector are not listening attentively to the rabbit. Instead, they are examining the rated photographs, drooling and enjoying the sights.

"Hey! Gimme that!"

Daffy, finally has enough of the loss of face, frantically retrieves the photos. Meanwhile, Bugs takes out a piece of carrot and starts chewing it.

"This Spy has already breached our defenses..."

* * *

The scene fades to an event which has happened moments earlier. The RED Bugs the Spy is creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He then pauses at a corner, just in time avoiding being spotted by a BLU Wile E. Coyote the Engineer and his Level 3 Sentry Gun. Knowing that he has to get past the Engineer and his turret, the RED Spy prepares to fight.

Silently and skillfully, the red suited anthropomorphic rabbit swiftly slides an A.C.M.E. Sapper across the floor, which releases electrical currents that disarm and destroy the Level 3 Sentry Gun immediately. Funny enough, a sign board "SENTRY DOWN!" pops out from the disabled Sentry Gun before it drops onto the floor in pieces.

Seeing his best form of protection in pieces, the BLU Coyote throws his wrench down and frantically reaches for his pistol, but is having trouble to draw his sidearm out from his A.C.M.E. brand pistol holster. Due to that, the RED Bugs is able to shoot the Coyote first right in the head with his revolver.

* * *

Back in the BLU intelligence room, the BLU Bugs leans over the corpse of Elmer Fudd, gesturing frantically to further prove his point of a Spy's lethality.

"You've seen what he's done to our pals!"

* * *

Moments earlier, when the BLU Elmer Fudd is still alive and in a sniping position from a dusty attic. When the RED Bugs tries to creep up on him, the red suited rabbit accidentally steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the human Sniper. The bald Sniper quickly turns back and engages the wily rabbit in a knife fight, but is eventually defeated and backstabbed when the rabbit distracts the hunter with a simple "It's for you!" phone call trick.

* * *

"And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

* * *

In another area, shortly before the current timeline, the RED Bugs has encountered and engaged a BLU Medic, who is armed with a light-bonesaw.

The fight does not go well for the helmeted Medic, as the taller masked rabbit swiftly breaks the doctor's arm with an arm lock, disarming him. Then, with the Medic still under the arm lock, the Spy's face magically turns into the Medic's face, sans the helmet.

"Oh dear..."

The last gasp of the Medic is cut short as Bugs puts a well-placed chop to the Medic's throat, killing him. At the same time, the Medic's helmet is knocked into the air, which the disguising rabbit skillfully catches in midair, putting onto his head to complete his disguise.

* * *

Back in the intelligence room, the BLU Bugs' warning is still going on.

"He could be in this very room! He could be YOU! He could be ME! He could even be..."

Suddenly, without warning, the BLU Bugs words are cut to a sudden halt when his head explodes violently with a bang.

"Whoa! Whoa! WHOA!" Daffy is astonished by the sudden death. Beside him, Hector is surprised too, though he is more confused than shocked. Yosemite Sam lowers down his shotgun; trace amount of smoke flowing out from the shotgun's barrel, hinting who is responsible for the kill.

"What? It was obvious!" The pint-sized Soldier pumps his shotgun, discarding the spent shell, "He's the RED Spy! Just watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

Yosemite Sam and Hector slowly approach the dead Bugs Bunny, with the redneck prodding the Spy's foot with his shotgun.

"Any second now... See? He's red! Oh, wait... that's blood." the red bearded Soldier realizes his mistake.

"So, we still got a problem..." Hector asks.

"Big problem..." Sam replies.

Unknown to the Soldier and Heavy, 'Daffy' lingers suspiciously behind, with his smug expression turned sinister. He approaches the BLU duo, retrieving the carrot-themed butterfly knife he pocketed earlier, flicking it open easily as if he is used to it.

"Alright then, who's ready to go find that rabbit?" Sam asks, oblivious to the approaching figure behind him and Hector.

As 'Daffy' approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Bugs Bunny the Spy.

"Eh, what's up doc?"

It is the last sentence Sam and Hector hear before they meet their end under the carrot-themed butterfly knife in the hands of the RED masked bunny.

* * *

(Play **Team Fortress 2 Ending Theme**, with the stabbing of Yosemite Sam and Hector punctuating the beat of the tune.)

* * *

(Play **Petite Chou-Fleur**)

After finishing off the BLU Soldier and Heavy, the RED Bugs finally has the briefcase in his hand. Before he leaves the room, he picks up one of the scattered photographs of BLU Daffy's mother, sniffing and giving it a smile.

"Ah... my pretty little baby carrot."

* * *

I think it's a no brainer that Bugs Bunny is the most suitable cast to play the role as the Spy. He disguises most frequently to hide himself and throw his enemies off guard. And just like the Spy, he strikes when nobody expects.

"Ain't I a screwy?"

And if anyone has noticed, another Looney Tunes character has made a vocal appearance. Porky Pig plays as the Administrator, as he is the voice of Merry Melodies in 1930s with his trademark stuttering quote "T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-That's all folks!"

Next up we meet a high-tech, out of this world doctor.


	8. Chapter 8: Meet the Medic

Disclaimer: Looney Tunes characters belongs to Warner Bros., and Team Fortress 2 belongs to Valve.

* * *

Explosions rattle from behind a rocky hillside. Running away from the series of explosions, is a RED Daffy the Scout and a wheelchair-bound RED Sylvester the Demo-Cat.

"Hurry up, stupid cat, hurry up!" Daffy urges impatiently as the pair flee from a trailing barrage of rockets. "Come on, come on, almost... whoa!"

Daffy gets thrown sideways by an exploding rocket. Lying on the ground, the wounded duck tries to get to his knees in vain. Just then, a trio of rockets arc down towards Daffy, accompanied by a whistling noise.

"Whoa! What the... Arrrggghhh..."

After a long shot of the explosion, the black Duck is flung into the air yelling and flailing. His flight is cut short as he smashes face first into a pane of glass in the foreground, cracking it and startling a mini-Instant Martian.

"Medic..."

* * *

**MEET THE MEDIC**

Inside the building where the distraught Daffy is smashed against, and now sliding off the window, is a RED Hector the Heavy lying on a bloodied operation table. Interestingly enough, the bulldog's entire chest cavity has been completely cut open and yet the anthropomorphic dog seems to feel fine. Beside the Heavy and the operation table, there is a prototype medi-gun, a huge futuristic-looking machine that looks like some kind of energy beam cannon shown in early cartoons. Standing beside the machine and the Heavy, who appears to be a patient, is a short... being dressed in a set of white doctor uniform with some bloodstains blotted on the white suit. The being's face is completely obscured by what looks like an olive green helmet of ancient Rome design, with only his large pair of black pupil eyes being visible. That being is Marvin the Martian, and he is the Medic of the team.

The apparent doctor and patient pair seems to be having a light hearted joke sharing conversation in the middle of an open chest operation, with the Medic holding the Heavy's heart in his hand and the energy beam cannon machine firing its beam into the bulldog's open chest, seemingly stabilizing the wound.

"Ahahahaha! Oh no more!"

Whatever jokes they are talking about, it seems that the big sized dog enjoys them, a lot.

"Oh wait, it gets better..."

(Play **A Little Heart to Heart**)

"When the patient woke up, his skeleton was missing, and the doctor was never heard from again!" Marvin jokes, laughing madly.

Hector pauses momentarily, and laughs again, banging his palm on a tray of alien-looking surgical tools next to him. The Martian doctor then continues.

"Anyway, that's how I lost my medical license, huh huh."

Suddenly, the Heavy stops laughing when he feels the jokes do not feel funny anymore. Instead, he is starting to feel concerned of his well-being, fearing that he will become the next 'patient' stated in Marvin's jokes.

Suddenly, an mini Instant Martian pops up from inside Hector's gut, surprising both the Martian and the canine patient.

"Xenomorph! No!" Marvin quickly shoos the Instant Martian away. "It's filthy in there! Eugh... Huh huh, instant aliens." the short Martian doctor chuckles, trying to dismiss the fact that his pet may have just contaminated his patient. Hector is looking at the doctor with suspicion, and slight skepticism.

Ignoring his patient look of doubt, Marvin grabs a mechanical device placed on a tray. The word "Uber" can be seen on a small charge meter of the device. Marvin starts to explain as he begins working with the device, plugging it into the heart in his hand.

"Now, most hearts couldn't withstand this voltage, but I'm fairly certain your heart..."

Just as Marvin places the plugged in heart into the medi-gun's beam, the heart explodes in an instant, spraying fleshy pieces all over the place, which one hits and knocks Xenomorph off his perch. Two more other mini-Instant Martians keeps watching on the commotion without fear.

"What's that noise?" Hector asks.

Marvin quickly recovers from his initial shock, casually removing the remains of the Heavy's heart from the Uber device and pretends as if nothing drastic has happened.

"It's the sound of progress, my friend." the Martian lies. Meanwhile, Marvin turns towards a nearby refrigerator and opens it, searching for a replacement for the lost heart. Inside the refrigerator, there are several other hearts of various sizes, a roasted ham sandwich, a few bottles of beer and a bottle of dehydrated instant Martian pellet. Among the hearts stored in the refrigerator, one of them is exceptionally large in size, labeled with "Mega Tasmanian Devil".

"Ah, perfect..." the alien Medic grabs the Mega Tasmanian Devil heart, revealing a decapitated head of a BLU Bugs Bunny the Spy hidden behind the oversized heart, somehow sustained by an alien battery.

"Kill me doc." the decapitated rabbit head pleads.

"Later, earth creature." Marvin promptly replies before shutting the fridge door. The doctor now stands beside Hector, with the Tasmanian Devil heart and the Uber device in each hand.

"Where was I? Ah, there we go." the doctor whispers to himself as he carefully jams the Uber device into the heart. Then he holds the now cyborg heart in front of the medi-gun beam, making it to start beating.

"Come on, come on..." the heart starts beating as Marvin also starts laughing madly. At the same time, the heart also starts flashing unevenly, giving off irregular reddish glow.

"Heh... heh..." Hector laughs nervously as he witnesses the operation beside him.

As the heart continues to beat faster, the meter on the Uber device gradually points to full. Marvin, who has stopped laughing and is squinting and leaning his head away, as if expecting the heart to explode. Surprisingly, it doesn't. When the doctor peeks back at the oversized cyborg heart in his hand, he sees the heartbeat has stabilized and stops glowing, but gets overlaid by a unique red shine on the surface.

"Oh dear, that looks good."

Seemingly satisfied with the result, Marvin drops the still beating heart into Hector's open chest. Hector looks on at the newly modified heart in his open chest cavity.

"Should I be awake for this?" the Heavy asks.

"Erm... no! Heh heh..." Marvin chuckles, "But as long as you are, could you hold your rib cage open a bit?"

Hector stares at the Martian doctor with a questioning look, before complying by pulling and adjusting his rib cage as Marvin tries to push the heart inside.

"I can't... seem... to..."

"Arrrrrrgggggghhhhhh!"

Suddenly, Hector yells out in pain as a crack is heard. Then, the bulldog looks at his hands and to his and Marvin's surprise, there is a snapped off rib in his hand.

"Oh dear... don't be such a puppy... ribs grow back!" the alien doctor lies and tries to cover up his blunder by taking the rib away from the Heavy's hand, tossing it aside. Then he secretly turns to a mini-Instant Martian sitting on top of the medi-gun and whispers, "No they don't."

Marvin is about to finish the medical operation on Hector, as the short alien doctor swings the medi-gun over to Hector's open chest cavity and raises its power. The medi-gun does its work, healing the surgery wound by regenerating bones, muscles, tissues, skin and fur. Strangely enough, as if by magic, even clothes are repaired and sewed back. Now, Hector the Heavy looks brand new, as if he has never been in a fight before. Only one noticeable difference about the anthropomorphic bulldog is a glowing red spot on his chest where his new heart is implanted.

Hector is impressed with his brand new heart. He gives a deep inhale, before asking.

"So, what happens now?"

Marvin helps the bulldog up, before chuckling and replying.

"Now? Let's go play doctor..."

* * *

(Play **Medic!**)

Later, Marvin is seen putting on his gloves, coat and his Plutonium Quick-Fix 2300 medi-gun.

A door bearing the red cross opens, revealing Marvin the Medic stepping out of the building, with a pack of Instant Martians running out and tossing confetti around the Martian doctor to glorify his entrance. Shortly after that, Hector the Heavy runs past him, with his minigun Tweety ready.

At the battlefield outside Marvin's office building, a RED Wile E. Coyote the Engineer and Elmer Fudd the Sniper are hiding behind cover; RED Daffy Duck the Scout is injured on the ground; and the wheelchair-bound RED Sylvester the Demo-Cat wheeling frantically towards the Medic.

"Medic!" Sylvester cries out in despair before he gets blown off his wheelchair by several rockets, landing face first on the ground in front of the Martian doctor.

Marvin grimaces at the one-eyed cat's pitiful status, then adjusts his helmet and flips a switch on the Quick-Fix. The high-tech medi-gun is activated and a healing beam is fired at the injured Demo-Cat. Under the effects of the healing beam, Sylvester is healed completely, ripping off the cast and bandages. The black anthropomorphic cat nods towards the Medic with gratitude, before picking up his sticky dynamite launcher, and heads back towards the battlefield.

Next, Marvin fires the Quick-Fix at Daffy the Scout, fixing him up too and even restoring the Scout's chipped beak.

"Woo-hoo-hoo! Yeah!" The re-energized anthropomorphic duck leaps to his feet, grabbing his bat from out of the air as he gets up and runs off, past a red truck where Hector is hiding behind. The energetic duck runs up to a BLU Yosemite Sam the Soldier and whacks him in the head with his bat. "Woo-hoo-hoo! Oh yeah!"

Just then, a massive horde of BLU Soldiers can be seen coming over the crest of the hill.

"Doctor!" Hector calls, "Are you sure this will work?"

"Well... huh huh... I have no idea!" Marvin replies. Despite his dubious answer, the Martian doctor is actually confident on taking on the approaching mass of BLU redneck soldiers.

With a flip on the switch, a panel lights up as a meter labeled "Voltmeter" reaches full and the words "UberCharge Ready" can be seen on the panel. At the same time, Marvin's backpack starts humming with power. Then, the Medic fires the Quick-Fix at Hector, who has just popped out from cover to engage the mass of BLU Soldiers.

"EYAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

Hector's war cry echoes across the landscape as the Heavy revs up and fires Tweety at his enemies. At the same time inside his body, Hector's newly implanted Mega Tasmanian Devil heart is beating rapidly, and glowing with UberCharge power.

"HA HA HA HA!

Marin and the UberCharged Hector advance under the rocket fire, while Hector starts laughing. The Heavy bulldog is now glowing red with power as he shrugs off volleys of rockets as if they are made of Styrofoam. A RED Wile E. Coyote the Engineer and RED Elmer Fudd the Sniper watch in awe as they witness Hector's seemingly superhuman feat.

"I am bulletproof!"

Hector keeps advancing, mowing down BLU Soldier after BLU Soldier, causing them to fall over dead in rapid succession.

Eventually, Hector kills so many enemy Soldiers that both he and Marvin manage to climb atop a pile of dead Soldiers while the pair keep advancing. A small pack of mini-Instant Martian follow shortly behind the pair, throwing confetti along the way.

* * *

(Play **Team Fortress 2 Ending Theme**)

* * *

After the conclusion of the skirmish with the horde of BLU Soldiers, inside the waiting room outside of Marvin's surgery room, the rest of the RED team are waiting, doing their own things to get rid of boredom. Wile E. Coyote is playing his guitar, Bugs Bunny is looking at his ticket, Yosemite Sam is standing at attention, Sylvester is drinking from his bottle and Elmer Fudd is sleeping.

"That looks good. Very nice there. Yes!" Marvin remarks, signifying the end of another successful surgery.

"Hey thanks, buster!"

A 'ding' is heard as the "Now Serving" sign changes from "1" to "2". Everyone in the waiting room looks forward the door to see Daffy Duck the Scout emerging out of the surgery room with a glowing chest.

"Oh boy! You busters would not BELIEVE... how much this hurts!" Daffy brags to his teammates.

Suddenly, a muffled chattering sound is heard, and Daffy's chest vibrates by itself, shocking the cocky black duck.

"Xenomorph?"

* * *

I don't really like this chapter, since I don't like "Meet the Medic" trailer as much as the others. To me, it is the most long-winded introduction and that makes writing a little more of a problem.

It is very hard to decide which Looney Tunes character should play as the Medic role since there is "not much doctor in the house". In the end, I decide to choose Marvin the Martian because most of the Medic's default gadgets, including his signature QuickFix, appear to be the most futuristic looking, as if they are alien and out-of-this-world. Instead of doves as his pets, I think he will look better to have miniaturized versions of those Instant Martian creatures to accompany him.

One more chapter and it is a wrap! Now guess who is this mysterious Pyro?


	9. Chapter 9: Meet the Pyro

Disclaimer: Looney Tunes characters belongs to Warner Bros., and Team Fortress 2 belongs to Valve.

* * *

**MEET THE PYRO**

The title text suddenly burns away, revealing the feet of the mysterious Pyro. The RED Pyro is seen wearing a set of red asbestos-lined hazard suit and pants together with a pair of black rubber boots. The mysterious killer with a gas mask on is armed with a fire axe in hand, walking over a pair of glasses towards the screen and knocking a few empty bullet cartridges aside.

* * *

(Play **Dreams of Cruelty**)

Scene cuts to inside a small room, where a RED Hector the Heavy is seen completely in silhouette, as if he is in an anonymous interview.

"I fear no one, but that... skunk... it scares me."

* * *

Scene is cut to a view behind the Pyro's right shoulder. A BLU Wile E. Coyote the Engineer shuts a door before a BLU Daffy Duck the Scout can join him inside. The scared duck pulls desperately on the handle, trying to get inside and avoid a horrifying end that awaits him.

* * *

Back inside the interview room, this time it is the RED Daffy the Scout in silhouette, sharing his view on his pyromaniac teammate. He seems to be uneasy.

"No, I... I ain't, I ain't talking about that freak, alright? He is not here, is he?"

Daffy starts to get extremely worried. In a panic, he tries to detach the microphone from his shirt to end the interview. He tugs and tugs as he stands and walks towards the camera, knocking it over.

"Hey! How do I get this stupid thing off?"

* * *

The Pyro kicks down the door into the BLU team's room, his customized flamethrower ready.

* * *

Back inside the interview room, it is the RED Bugs Bunny the Spy's turn to be interviewed. With a carrot in his hand, the rabbit in ski mask speaks.

"One shudders to imagine what inhuman thoughts lie behind that mask... what dreams of chronic and sustained cruelty?"

* * *

Back to the scene with Pyro, the mentioned pyromaniac is firing his customized flamethrower, then to a wider shot, showing an entire wooden town in flames. Strangely, the fumes released from the flames are abnormally thick and heavy. The entire figure of the Pyro is now visible, with his red asbestos-lined hazard suit and pants with black rubber boots, a gas mask covering his face and three incendiary grenades attached to a belt slung across his shoulder. Besides his unique clothing style, a lock of black and white hair and a pair of black pointed furry ears can be seen jutting out of his face outline. The most noticeable feature of this Pyro is a long, thick, fluffy black tail with two white stripes running parallel along the midline. This is Pepe Le Pew the skunk, and he is the Pyro.

* * *

The scene now cuts to the front view of Pepe Le Pew, zooming rapidly into the blackness of one of his eyepieces. There is a sound of Pepe's breathing and a single white spot which zooms forward and splits into a binocular view. When these focus, it shows a psychedelic dreamscape. In the view of Pepe Le Pew, he lives in a world of romance and love, filled with pink hills, flower bouquets, cute flying cupids and love motels.

His flamethrower, customized to utilize extract of his own stench as fuel, appears in his hands as an unusually-shaped brass instrument, spraying a mist of faint pink heart-shaped clouds over ground, causing colourful flowers to spring from the lawn in front of him. Pepe Le Pew the Pyro is laughing happily, enjoying the warm atmosphere in his own dream world.

Just then, BLU characters begin to appear right in front of the delusional skunk in his dreamscape. Unlike their real-life counterparts, these BLU characters appear as feminized versions of the actual characters with the body of a sexy black furred female cat with a band of white stripe running along its long fluffy tail. Due to the white stripe along the tail, Pepe Le Pew will always mistake them as beautiful females skunks to be pursued, even if they may actually be cats.

In Pepe Le Pew's view, the feminized BLU characters appear to be laughing and flirting with him in seductive poses. One of them, a BLU Hector, appears and skips towards the RED skunk. Pepe Le Pew grabs a bouquet of flower from the ground and skips towards the feminized Heavy.

"Mmph-mmph-mmph-mmmph-mmph-mmph-mmph-mmph-mmph!" (Come to me, my beautiful darling!)

The two skip towards each other, seemingly happily. The Pyro then shoves the bouquet of flowers into the BLU Hector's hands.

* * *

In the real world, the BLU Hectors screams in fright as Pepe Le Pew slams a fire axe right into the Heavy's skull, spraying blood all over the place.

* * *

Back in 'Le Pew Land', a feminized BLU Daffy Duck the Scout appeas, skipping around and finally resting on Pepe's instrument.

"Mmmpphh-mmph-mmph-mmpphh! Mmph-mmph-mmphh-mmph-mmph-mmph-mmph-mmph? Mmph-mmph-mmph-mmph-mmph..." (Ah my darlin'! It is love at first sight, is it not? Hmm?)

The Pyro then takes out a beautiful ring and offers it right in front of the feminized Daffy's face, while making a smooching gesture.

* * *

In the real world, the BLU Daffy Duck is knocked back as he screams in extreme sensory pain as Pepe Le Pew shoots the duck with a fart gun right into his face.

* * *

Back in 'Le Pew Land', a BLU Marvin the Martian Medic appears out of a present parcel, which Pepe Le Pew teasingly closes the parcel on the feminized alien doctor.

* * *

In the real world, the Pyro skunk has trapped Marvin in a shed by barring the door with his axe.

"Oh no!"

The unfortunate Medic utters his last words before he gets bathed in flames and concentrated skunk stench fumes inside the shed.

* * *

Back in 'Le Pew Land', the romantic yet delusional skunk continues to shoot streams of heart-shaped clouds mist from his weapon. As he passes, a heart-shaped cushion sofa appears, and the feminized version of BLU Wile E. Coyote the Engineer and Bugs Bunny the Spy sit on it. The BLU members stuck in the body of sexy female cat bodies give wooing and flirting gestures as Pepe Le Pew leaves the scene.

* * *

In reality...

"Sufferin' succotash! I'm bbburning! It sssstinks!"

A BLU Sylvester the Demo-Cat screams in pain as the black anthropomorphic cat gets set on fire, while suffering from the nasty fumes caused as a side-effect of Pepe Le Pew's specially customized flamethrower.

A BLU Yosemite Sam the Soldier is hit by a piece of a destroyed Sentry Gun built by a BLU Wile E. Coyote the Engineer, who is shown flying off into the distance.

Amidst the chaos, a BLU Daffy Duck the Scout flees while a BLU Elmer Fudd the Sniper crashes out of a second-storey window to the ground. The Sniper in despair crawls over to the ankle of a nearby individual, while in the background, the sound of the destruction of an A.C.M.E. teleporter and A.C.M.E. dispenser can be heard in the distace.

"Help!"

Elmer Fudd grabs hold onto the ankle of the nearest figure, crying for help. When the bald Sniper looks up, however, he realizes that he is staring right into the expressionless masked face of Pepe Le Pew the RED Pyro himself. The Pyro looks down, and simply shoots his flamethrower. The scream of the poor Sniper can be heard as the view zooms in on Pepe's mask, pungent flames reflecting off the eyepieces as the pyromaniac skunk tilts his head.

* * *

(Play **Team Fortress 2 Ending Theme**)

* * *

The scene cuts back to the romantic dreamscape of 'Le Pew Land', where Pepe Le Pew happily walks away into the sunset. The view zooms out and passes through the reality of the burnt, gaping and stinking hole in the stomach of a BLU Yosemite Sam. The poor vertically-challenged Soldier clutches his smoldering innards for a moment, before falling over with a stifled groan as he succumbs to his fatal wound. Pepe Le Pew continues to walk away into the sunset, whistling a French romance tune as the town behind him begins to collapse from the inferno, dark noxious fumes rising from the flames and the streets littered with charred BLU corpses, with some having white flowing out of their mouths.

* * *

And the last one is finally done!

At first, it is quite hard to decide which Looney Tunes character can play the role of the Pyro, since there are not many recurring Looney Tunes characters that use fire as the main weapon. In the end, I choose the resident French love struck skunk for the role because of two reasons. Firstly, his most potent weapon, his own stench coming out from his tail, has no definite form, kind of like a smoke, or fire. Secondly, I think he is stuck in his own world of romance, thinking that he is successful in the field despite his love interest, Penelope Pussycat's obvious signs of rejection, kind of reminding me Pyro's schizophrenic view of his own magical world of 'Pyroland'.

As you can see, I make a lot of changes in this Looney Tunes version of "Meet the Pyro" to make it funnier and have the feel of the French skunk in the chapter. Pepe Le Pew uses almost the same kinds of weapons as the Pyro, with the additional gimmick of Pepe Le Pew's notorious skunk stench. I make his flamethrower to be customized in the way that he uses extract from his own stink gland as fuel for his flamethrower, so that not only does the flamethrower sets its victims on fire, the flames also gives off a noxious fumes that causes intense suffering to the victims' sensory organs. Its jet pushback not only repels enemies and projectiles, it can also directly damage enemies through the sufferable stench. Instead of flare gun, he will use a fart gun. Just imagine a fart gun to the face...pfff HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! Also, his version of 'Pyroland' is called 'Le Pew Land', which he sees the world as a warm magical and romantic setting, instead of a kiddy magical world.

This is the last chapter of this short project. I will be focusing back to my mainstream story Starcraft AU.


End file.
